Presence

Struggles struggles, struggles are so real in each day of our lives. We are bounded by our struggles because they are the kind that drag you down into the water the more you try to break free. The wounds get deeper and it hurts more when we engage into this break free mode from the struggle.

Over the past few months, I struggled with the fact that I do not what I'm doing. I'm not sure if I'm doing right what I'm doing. I'm pretty much going through the motion, following instructions and as much as God's presence has been strong in my life, yet I felt Him missing the area of the ministry, this particular part which I am struggling the most and seeking Him most earnestly, He is missing, He went MIA, He went comms silent. Every moment, I dug myself into His presence, trying so ever hard to hear from the Lord, "what God?" "what's next?" "how how? Like that can?" But this particular part of my seeking was just ... ... ...

After a long conversation with a friend whom I very frankly revealed this struggle to last night, this morning I woke up, not feeling like I had revelation or whatsoever but the need to get into His presence once again. Just to dwell and be drenched again by the holiness of our God. The need to drink from His living water so that the dry patch will be moist again. The need to sit at His feet and do the one thing that is needful.

"Holy Holy are you Lord
The whole earth is filled with your glory
Let the nations rise to give
Honour and praise to you name

Let your face shine on us
As the world will know you lives

All the heaven shouts your praise
Beautiful is our God
The universe will sing
Hallelujah to you our king"

I love how God works in the way He works.
This morning's prayer devotion (from Tim Keller 14 days prayer devotion) started with the question. Which is the ultimate form of prayer? Is it peaceful adoration or assertive supplication?
It went on to show the Psalmist's way of prayer. First, the primary thing David asked of in his prayer was 'to gaze on the beauty of the Lord'. Holy holy are you Lord. The whole earth is FILLED with your glory. Lord, open my eyes to see the beauty of the Lord and to see the glory that is so evident everywhere. David's greatest desire is to be in the Lord's presence. This is the communion-seeking prayer. A prayer of just being with God. I missed so much just being about to gaze into the beauty of the Lord. Because His love is better than life1.

Next was that David lifted his struggles to the Lord and many times, God did stay silent to David. David will then continue his conversation with God by submitting to God's sovereignty yet continues to wrestle with the Lord. This is kingdom-seeking prayer.

As I sing hallelujah to my king, it's all about ascribing greatness to my King. Giving him glory and honour due to His great and mighty name! The heart of singing hallelujah must be one that fully lift my hands and my heart and my soul, with full gusto, with full conviction that says "HALLELUJAH to you my King!"

1. Psalm 63:1-3 I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

some parts are extracted from Tim Keller Prayer: A 14-Day Devotional