The 4 gospel books wrote this account in slightly different way, John probably recorded most details of the conversation Jesus had with his disciples. The passage in John 6:5 went this way. Jesus saw the great crowd and asked Philip where can they buy bread for these people. Philip immediately saw the impossible, firstly, it's a great crowd and how could they possibly be able to afford buying bread for all of them. Andrew, another disciple, looked for opportunities and found a boy with 5 loaves of bread and 2 small fish, but his assessment on these resources was that they are too little to feed the great crowd.
Bearing in mind that this happened just after Jesus was healing the sick and early on, Jesus turned water into wine, Jesus' disciples had been hanging around this miracle worker for the whole time and yet their eyes saw only the great crowd (great problem) and concluded that it was not possible to feed them. Philip and Andrew were not unwise and they were not men with no faith. They were merely the reflection of most of us. They saw that they cannot feed the crowd in their most logical analysis based on their resources and so the most practical way was to send them away to get their own food.
As I reflected on this, there were probably countless of times when Jesus asked me to 'feed' his people who were hungry. My responses to those times were very much like Andrew and Philip. "I can't even find time for myself, I can't even feed myself." or "What can I do? I am limited.". Failing to see the miracles that Jesus had performed in my life and in the lives of others, I chose to see the limitation and the impossible task before me.
The next part was by far the greatest lesson learnt and it had been and still is a constant reminder from time to time as I serve.
The boy who surrendered his 5 loaves and 2 fish. There were nothing mentioned about the boy who gave his bread and fish, except that he was a boy with 5 small loaves and 2 small fish. As I was meditating on this passage and opening my heart to hear from the Lord, God placed me in the shoes of this boy. He had enough bread and fish for himself and maybe to share with someone sitting beside him. He wasn't affected by the fact that people around him didn't have food to eat. He brought his own food. But when Andrew spotted him and took him out from the crowd, to Jesus, he had to make the choice at that moment, to surrender his food, which were just enough for him, to be shared with the great crowd.
Thoughts of the boy flooded my head.
"Why me? There must be someone else out here with more to offer."
"I'm just a boy. Look at the big man around me. Get them to go get their own food."
"I have just enough for myself."
And finally "What can my 5 loaves and 2 fish do to help everyone."
While all these thoughts might have gone through his mind, or maybe not, these are definitely thoughts that had gone through my mind hundreds, or if not, thousands of times whenever I am placed on the same situation as the boy. "Lord, what can my 5 loaves and 2 fish do?"
"The 5 loaves and 2 fish, when they remain in your hands, they will just be 5 loaves and 2 fish. But when you surrender the 5 loaves and 2 fish to me, Wendy, it will become a miracle dish. Whatever you have, place them in my hands, surrender them to me, and I will do the miracle."
This is the God whom I serve. The God who make miracles. The God who uses my limitation for His great work. Whatever remains in my hands will just be what it is but whatever I choose to place into God's hands, woah... I can't imagine what He can do with them.
